eldercare
Ageing parents – who cares?
The number of people aged 85 and over in the UK has shot up in recent years and it’s predicted to double in the next two decades. As they get older, people often need more care and support. But social services are struggling, communities are less cohesive than they used to be and families are […]
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How can I get mum to take my worries about her seriously?
Dear Lesley I’m so worried about my mum. She’s had two falls in the last few months, with the last one resulting in her cutting her head open in three places. After the last fall I took her to see a lovely retirement flat that has a warden but offers independent living. She liked it […]
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Who takes responsibility when it’s a more distant relative who needs help?
Dear Lesley We were visiting my parents over the Christmas holiday – I thought the visit would be an opportunity to see how they are getting on, as they are both in their 80s now, and was looking forward to a bit of a break myself. As it turned out, they are not doing so […]
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How do I cope with constant repetitive questions?
Dear Lesley I have been asked a question I couldn’t answer today by my neighbour who cares for her mother and a lady she cleans for, both of whom have memory loss. Her mother repeated the same thing 10 times today and the lady she cleans for asked her the same thing 16 times last […]
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Shall I invite Dad to live with us?
Dear Lesley My dad’s been angling to move in with me ever since my mum died. I know it wouldn’t work. He doesn’t get on that well with my teenagers and he’s been very used to having his own way. He doesn’t live that far away and I’m already helping him with shopping, cooking and […]
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How do I get back the happy memories taken by dementia?
Hello Lesley, I like the site very much and wish I had known of it when supporting my elderly parents. Both my parents have passed away now but the journey was hard. They both lived into their 80s but my mother was in a home for nearly eight years, suffering with dementia and my father […]
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Dementia is stealing away my hero dad and I feel useless
Dear Lesley, My lovely dad is 73 years old and for the past four years has been suffering from dementia. He has always been my hero and my absolute closest friend but now the dementia is robbing him of mind and body. He’s confused, and often angry and upset, and I just want to scoop […]
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How do I deal with a mean mother?
Dear Lesley, It sounds awful but I have such a struggle with my mother, her constant demands and toxic ‘snidey’ comments. Everything is a crisis, when sometimes the ‘crisis’ is the cable coming out of the back of the TV and the TV not working. What I do is never enough and she is constantly […]
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How to support an elderly carer
Dear Lesley,My father died 15 years ago and my mother has been with a new partner for the last 10 years, although they don’t live together. In some ways their relationship is quite traditional in that he seems to make most of the decisions, pays for meals and holidays, and she drives him around, cooks […]
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