advice
How do I set clear boundaries with a narcissistic mum?
When a mother is a narcissist, daughters can find the relationship becoming even more toxic as the mother gets older and less able to look after themselves. Dr Lesley Trenner offers advice on drawing boundaries and protecting yourself from hostility and ingratitude. Dear Lesley My mum has always been nasty to me and it’s only […]
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Advice on keeping cool in a heatwave
While we have generally experienced some very hot weather in parts of the UK most summers, it looks like higher temperatures are going to be a feature of every summer in future. That means we need to be extra vigilant for our more vulnerable relatives and friends. Here are some tips to help get through a […]
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Mum’s behaviour has always hurt. Now dementia is making it worse
Dear Lesley, I’m looking after my 90-year old mum who has some dementia. My problem is her nasty attitude. I’m single and have to work full-time, but I visit mum twice a week and call her a couple of times nearly every day. I try taking her out to new places and for dinner, but she […]
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An insider’s guide to asking the right questions when choosing a care home
There’s plenty of advice about choosing a care home available on the internet. But does it go far enough? As a registered nurse John has spent years working in care homes for the elderly and knows what’s important to ask. Now he’s used his experience to write a guide to the questions that will really […]
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How to spot a good care home for your loved one
Collaborative post No one wants to be put into a care home, and no one likes the responsibility of picking one. The thought of it is worrying for both parties, but there are plenty of establishments out there that provide high-quality care and a loving environment for those you love dearly. Here is how to […]
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How can I care for mum with dementia when I can’t cope myself?
Dear Lesley I’ve recently learned my Mum has mixed dementia. She was diagnosed almost two years ago but I’ve only just found out. Since then she has also got septicaemia and pneumonia, although she’s on the mend from the pneumonia now. I have three brothers and I’m the only girl. I’m also the youngest. My […]
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Maintaining a relationship when your parent has dementia – a real-life story
Our specialist ageing parent “agony aunt” Lesley Trenner has been talking to people about the emotions around caring for family members living with dementia. Here she tells how sisters Jean and Diane are taking this journey and offers tips to others with the same challenges. When your parent is diagnosed with dementia it can be […]
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Shall I invite Dad to live with us?
Dear Lesley My dad’s been angling to move in with me ever since my mum died. I know it wouldn’t work. He doesn’t get on that well with my teenagers and he’s been very used to having his own way. He doesn’t live that far away and I’m already helping him with shopping, cooking and […]
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How do I get back the happy memories taken by dementia?
Hello Lesley, I like the site very much and wish I had known of it when supporting my elderly parents. Both my parents have passed away now but the journey was hard. They both lived into their 80s but my mother was in a home for nearly eight years, suffering with dementia and my father […]
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When families can’t agree on care
Dear Lesley, All my brother and sisters and I seem to do these days is fight. We used to get on really well. Then mum was diagnosed with dementia and she gave us all Power of Attorney. We argued about when was the right time for her to move into a home and we’ve argued […]
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