Relationships
Understanding how relationships change as your parents age and how you can manage the challenges that arise
Mum didn’t tell me about her major heart surgery
Written by Rebecca Lenton This week’s storyteller is Clare Tanner. When your aunt mentions that your mum’s having surgery and you had no idea – what do you do? Clare shares her experience of her parents’ preference for privacy and desire to not worry her by not telling her about it! Mum is 70 in […]
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Parents are many things. Is a burden one of them?
Written by Kathy Lawrence There’s been discussion on our Twitter feed this week about our article on not making parents feel like they’re a burden. Is this too negative an approach? Should we be focusing on the positive? Here’s a view from our office. I would hate my parents to ever feel like they’re a […]
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Are sex and love taboo topics for you and your parents?
Don’t be afraid to talk to your parent about love and sex, advises Relate counsellor and author, Barbara Bloomfield. They’ve got the same hopes and dreams as you have, but are probably just a bit shyer of talking about it. After my mother was widowed in her sixties, I used to see quite a bit […]
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And Fred came too: the struggle to care for a grieving step-parent
This week’s storyteller is Barbara. When Barbara’s mother passed away, Barbara was left to care for her mother’s second husband who stayed on in the granny flat. Despite Barbara’s best efforts, it was hard to make the relationship work. My father died 33 years ago, and eventually Mummy met and married Fred, who was some […]
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Older but not over the hill
Written by Rebecca Lenton This week’s storyteller has chosen to be anonymous. There’s a societal habit of associating old age with decrepitude. Because someone is elderly they automatically can’t do things for themselves. They can’t hear and see as they used to and therefore they’re considered incapable. This widely shared assumption seems to create an […]
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Bridging the distance between us
This week’s storyteller is Sally.When Sally’s parents both became ill and dependent on others, Sally resisted the pressure to turn her life upside down and go home to help. She tells us about the struggle to help from a distance and relieve the load on family who stayed nearby. At the young age of 49, […]
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Helping our parents to feel that they’re not a burden
We’re bound to feel frustrated with our parents sometimes, but do we want them to feel eternally grateful to us? You’ve given up yet another Sunday to spend it in A&E with a parent. Your partner’s come too, and between you you’ve been running errands all afternoon – driving off to your parent’s house to […]
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Coming home – or at least nearby
This week’s storyteller has chosen to be anonymous.When’s the right time to move a parent to be close to you? Does removing some parental challenges mean introducing new ones? My mum is a healthy lady in her early 70s. She and dad moved away from our home town some years ago, building a full and […]
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I can’t believe you said that
Remember when you hit that age in your teens when overnight your parents seemed to become excruciatingly embarrassing? You didn’t want to be seen in their space because you never knew when they would next say something truly toe-curling? Well here’s some news for you. It could be about to happen again. Here are two […]
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When dementia brings death to your door
When When They Get Older launched last year Jill Sinclair, The Glasgow Herald blogger, became a supporter, contributor and friend. She shared with us just how important it was to talk about dementia, in particular her Father’s, and the therapeutic quality blogging holds for her. In 2012 Jill moved back to Scotland to care for […]
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