Relationships
Understanding how relationships change as your parents age and how you can manage the challenges that arise
Respecting my parents’ wishes
This week’s storyteller is Clare Tanner. Clare was taken by surprise when her aunt told her that her mum was having heart surgery. She had no idea and she told us about her initial reactions in her story here. Now she explains the changes her and her mum have made in their relationship to foster […]
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Caring for a disabled mother-in-law
Caron Sprake, author of eldercare blog Caron Cares, shares how she cared for her disabled mother-in-law whilst juggling family responsibilities. When I said “I do” I acquired not only a husband but a disabled mother-in-law as well. After leaving my training as a student nurse because of back trouble I became a carer which helped […]
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Caring for a mother-in-law with cancer
Adrienne Gruberg, founder of The Caregiver Space, shares how she adjusted family life to care for a mother-in-law with Lymphoma whilst her own husband battled lung cancer. My mother-in-law, Sylvia – all four-feet-ten inches of her – was a spitfire of a lady! At eighty-nine, she was one of the most resilient people I had […]
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Walking the hospital corridors in dad’s shoes
This week’s storyteller has chosen to be anonymous.Our storyteller talks about their experience of life as a hospital in-patient and shares how they came to appreciate their dad’s perspective after seeing behind the curtain of NHS patient care. I’m not normally a hospital patient. I do spend a great deal of time as a visitor […]
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Mum didn’t tell me about her major heart surgery
Written by Rebecca Lenton This week’s storyteller is Clare Tanner. When your aunt mentions that your mum’s having surgery and you had no idea – what do you do? Clare shares her experience of her parents’ preference for privacy and desire to not worry her by not telling her about it! Mum is 70 in […]
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Parents are many things. Is a burden one of them?
Written by Kathy Lawrence There’s been discussion on our Twitter feed this week about our article on not making parents feel like they’re a burden. Is this too negative an approach? Should we be focusing on the positive? Here’s a view from our office. I would hate my parents to ever feel like they’re a […]
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Are sex and love taboo topics for you and your parents?
Don’t be afraid to talk to your parent about love and sex, advises Relate counsellor and author, Barbara Bloomfield. They’ve got the same hopes and dreams as you have, but are probably just a bit shyer of talking about it. After my mother was widowed in her sixties, I used to see quite a bit […]
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And Fred came too: the struggle to care for a grieving step-parent
This week’s storyteller is Barbara. When Barbara’s mother passed away, Barbara was left to care for her mother’s second husband who stayed on in the granny flat. Despite Barbara’s best efforts, it was hard to make the relationship work. My father died 33 years ago, and eventually Mummy met and married Fred, who was some […]
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Older but not over the hill
Written by Rebecca Lenton This week’s storyteller has chosen to be anonymous. There’s a societal habit of associating old age with decrepitude. Because someone is elderly they automatically can’t do things for themselves. They can’t hear and see as they used to and therefore they’re considered incapable. This widely shared assumption seems to create an […]
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Bridging the distance between us
This week’s storyteller is Sally.When Sally’s parents both became ill and dependent on others, Sally resisted the pressure to turn her life upside down and go home to help. She tells us about the struggle to help from a distance and relieve the load on family who stayed nearby. At the young age of 49, […]
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